One thing that I have always struggled with is wondering where I belong, mainly with other people, more specifically who will I marry? I chose to look at myself in the eyes of what others were saying. I did not choose to look and see what my Father was saying about me and who I really am. I have never had a romantic relationship and I am 21 years old, many women my age have had multiple relationships. I would sit and compare myself to those women and just become overwhelming saddened by the fact that I hadn't experienced that yet. This was no place to be and a dishonor to myself, the women around me, and God. If you sit in that for too long you begin to listen to the enemy and when someone comes along and shows you attention, you follow it and eventually get hurt. I truly believe that relationships are beautiful and should be surrounding the Lord, with in the middle of it all.
However before you get into that relationship, you have to go through this time where you are single. This period in your life is not meant to be sad and lonely. It is meant to find yourself and your identity within the Lord and following Him to where you should be in order to find that person. Relationships are good! Don't get me wrong, I love having best friends and people around me. In fact, the Lord wants that in your life. The first time that the Lord said that it was not good was in Genesis 2:18
The the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him."
Our God did not create you to be alone, being alone cane be very sad and we tend to follow ideas and thoughts of the flesh and not of our Lord. I know it can be much easier to ignore the Lord when I am alone and more vulnerable to the enemy. I think that can be so true for many of us. He is so intentional with who he places in our lives and those friends that we have around us. I never saw that intentionality until this past year and once you see it you are amazed. He wants you to build those relationships with him being the middle and center focus. I love that! I notice that those relationships that I have that are built around the Lord, I am more content and at peace with what will happen between us.
However, while you are in that in between state of relationships and not being in a relationship, the Lord is building your foundation. If you do not know your identity and your purpose within His eyes, you cannot fully give yourself to another human being. If you do not fully love yourself in God's image than you are unable to love another human as you should love them. If you look in the bible at the beginning, Genesis, you see that the Lord gave Adam five things before he gave him a relationship. Now, I did not see these things on my own, I was listening to a sermon that a friend gave me when he pointed out this. (Sermon)
1. Place, He desires that you have a place that he knows that purpose can happen in your life. You are unable to place yourself and find that alone. The Lord places you in a place that you will have a purpose. The Lord does not endorse things that he doesn't want. He will provide in your place! When you are uncomfortable here He is working on your purpose.
2. Purpose, the Lord will give you a purpose. You must allow the lord to show you your purpose and you sometimes have to wait for that to come. You have to embrace the place and then you could find the purpose. People do not bring your purpose.
3. Provision, He will provide in the place where you were called to be. He will only fund his own ideas, allowing Him to guide you through this life and He will answer your prayers. He will listen to your ideas but he will provide for His plan.
4. Identity, He created you in His own image to be more like HIM! Your identity is placed within him not by those around you, look into the word and see what he says about you. The enemy will trick you and want you to believe what everyone else is saying. Follow what the Lord says about you and not what others say!
5. Parameters, the Lord always gives you guidelines for your place. The Lord asked Adam to not eat from one tree, but gave him many other trees! He loves you so He gives you parameters that you must follow in order to be safe and within his plan for you. If you do not set these parameters then you may follow another person who has no parameters and create a mess. (1 Corinthians 10:23)
He wants you to have a foundation in Him and yourself before you have a relationship. He first wants the relationship with the Lord and then yourself and then others. This was all before a person! Once you learn these things you are able to help one another and guide each other back when we fall short or forget who we are in the eyes of the Lord.
