I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since 8th grade. My grandmother passed away and I felt lost. I remember the night I learned she had passed. My dad told us in my sisters room and he hugged us and said we were driving there in the morning. I went into my room and flipped through photographs of her and I cried. I couldn't believe that she was gone. I often times still cannot seem to grasp it. I am blessed to have a family that came together and loved us through the tough time. I was grateful for my best friends, Melissa and Paola that checked on me to see how I was.
I know that not everyone has a safe place to go. I know how blessed I am and how incredible my parents are. I never will take that for granted. From 8th grade onto high school, I still felt the void and did not know what was wrong with me. Eventually, I got help. I went to counseling and start taking medication. I can make myself happy. I find ways everyday to love myself. I find ways to engage and motivate myself in life. I did not get here easily. It was a marathon not a sprint. I work everyday to love myself, I check in with myself, I make sure to exercise, I give myself a break. I know the power and impact of self-love. I would not know that power if I had not read these books and learned about it.
I love them. If I could only read one genre of book for the rest of my life it would be self-help. I came into 2017 thinking "oh, I have made plenty of progress. I am doing fine". Then one day, about three months ago, I stopped and asked myself "Do you want to be just fine? Is that really how you want to feel for the rest of your life?" I sat there and realized I wanted to be my most authentic self. I want to experience everything and I want to make it all count. So I took to pinterest, like I always do, I looked at blogs and listened to TED talks. I found people who inspired me and wrote down why they made me feel that way. I was then directed to a book called The Universe Has Got Your Back. I read it in one sitting. I felt so incredibly worthy of love and I felt motivated to put so much more into my life. That is how I got hooked. I bought more books that evening and then the next day I went to my campus bookstore and bought more. I found myself reading these books at 2am when I could not sleep and during anytime I was free.
I know they are not for everyone, however, give it a try. Read one, you don't have to finish it but just pick up a book and try! Not for me but for yourself. Give yourself that love and support that you have been asking everyone else to give you. I believe that sometimes we work on others and such materialistic things that we forget about ourselves. If we do not love and support ourselves how are we expected to do anything else? Give yourself love. Give yourself a hug and just let it out.
